Self Love And What It Has Taught Me

Late last year was a difficult one for me. I was struggling with my mental health and I could say that I was depressed. I had hit rock bottom and anytime I looked around and saw other beautiful, successful women, I wondered: How do they do it? How do they manage to feel so good?

I wanted to find out, and I wanted to share with other women who, like me, wanted to feel happy, wanted to feel well, wanted to be better. 

A question came popping; What are you going to do with yourself now?

So I started asking questions from everyone and every book I thought could help. Let me share things I’ve learned so far;

1. I Learned To Stop Comparing Myself To Others

There’s just no point in comparing yourself to anyone else on the planet because there’s only one you. Hello!!! Rather, focus on yourself and your journey. The shift of energy, alone, will help you feel free.

2. I Learned To Stop Worrying About Other’s Opinions

In that same vein, don’t worry about what society thinks or expects of you. You can’t make everyone happy, so this is a waste of time and will only slow you down on your journey to being the best you.

3. I Learned To Allow Myself To Make Mistakes

Make REASONABLE mistakes so you can learn and grow from them. Embrace your past. You’re constantly changing and growing from who you once were into who you are today and who you will be one day.

So, forget about that voice in your head that says you need to be perfect. Make mistakes! The lessons you’ll gain are priceless.

4. I Learned My Value Doesn’t Lie In How My Body Looks

You are valuable because you are you, not because of your body. So, wear what makes you feel good. If it’s a lot or if it’s a little, wear what makes you feel confident, comfortable, and happy.

5. I Learned Not To Be Afraid To Let Go Of Toxic People

If there’s someone who is bringing toxicity into your life and won’t take responsibility for it, that might mean you need to step away from them. Don’t be afraid to do this. It’s liberating and important, even though it may be painful.

It’s not rude or wrong to remove yourself from situations or the company of people who are draining you.

6. I Learned To Trust Myself To Make Good Decisions For Myself

We so often doubt ourselves and our ability to do what’s right, when most of the time we do know in our hearts what’s best. Remember that your feelings are valid. You’re not losing touch with reality. You know yourself better than anyone else, so be your best advocate.

7. I Learned To Put Myself First

Don’t feel bad about doing this. Women, especially, can grow accustomed to putting others first. Although there’s a time and a place for this, it shouldn’t be a habit that costs you your mental or emotional well-being.

Find the time to decompress. Without decompressing and recharging you can put a serious strain on yourself. Whether it’s spending the day in bed or outdoors in nature, find what helps you decompress and dedicate time to this.

8. I Learned Not To Limit My Feelings

Allow yourself to feel things fully. Lean into pain, revel in your joy, and don’t put limitations on your feelings. Identify each emotion you’re feeling per time, like fear, pain and joy are emotions that will help you understand yourself and ultimately realize that you are not your feelings.

9. I Learned To Exercise Boldness In Public

Get into the habit of speaking your mind. Boldness is like a muscle — it grows the more you exercise it. Don’t wait for permission to take a seat at the table. Join the conversation. Contribute your thoughts. Take action, and know that your voice is just as important as anyone else’s.

10. I Learned To See The Beauty In Simple Things

Try to notice at least one beautiful, small thing around you every single day. Make note of it, and be grateful for it. Gratitude not only gives you perspective, but it’s also essential to help you find joy.

11. I Learned To Be Kind To Myself

The world is full of harsh words and critique — don’t add yours to the mix. Speak kindly to yourself, and don’t call yourself mean things. Celebrate yourself. You’ve come so far and grown so much. Don’t forget to celebrate yourself, and not only on your birthday!

Even if you don’t feel particularly powerful, think about how far you’ve come, how you’ve survived. You’re here, right now, alive and powerful beyond your knowledge. And be patient with yourself. Self-love may not happen overnight. But with time, it will settle itself into your heart.



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